You are not the centre of the Universe.
Sorry to be so blunt, but it's true. As humans, our experience of the world is based on a unique perspective. Our past experiences shape our view of the world, including our values and every single though, feeling and belief we hold. This creates our unique point of reference.
Even though our perspectives are personal, we, as imperfect humans, frequently forget this fact and are susceptible to judging others against our own point of reference.
For example, how often do you think to yourself "I would have done that differently" or "If that were me, I would have done this"? Chances are it's very often.
This is because you are viewing a situation from your perspective, rather than considering that another individual has an entirely different set of core values, beliefs and lived experiences which determine their actions. You may view their actions and opinions as wrong because they go against yours, and why else would you hold those views in the first place if you didn't think you were right?
But thats the thing, our perspectives aren't absolute truths. They are mere assumptions and opinions we've formulated, and whilst they can be shared with close friends and people with similar backgrounds to you, no one can hold the exact same views and values. For example, you may be upset if a friend doesn't ask you how you are because you believe that asking after friends is an important part of a friendship, so they obviously don't care about you. However, your friend may think that if you had something to share with them you would do so automatically and they would listen, because in the same situation they would tell someone how they are without prompting. Neither of these perspectives are wrong; they are simply different, but they can cause conflict.
Once you stop thinking of yourself as the universal reference point, you can start to accept that everyone is different, and their opinions and beliefs are just as valid as your own.
This blog post was inspired by one of the episodes of the podcast 'unfuck your brain' entitled 'you are not the reference point' by Kara Loewentheil. I truly recommend giving her podcast a listen, she's incredibly insightful and engaging to listen to!
